she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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