summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize