Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
