vagina is talking i cant
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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