1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sry I called you an 8
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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