O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
