I'm really into asian looking animals
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
God, I missed his penis.
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