so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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