So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize