At least make sure they are 18
Why
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
