You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
