My nipple is on Facebook.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize