Kiss
Puke
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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