I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
