I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
