I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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