I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
