Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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