he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
