You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
