New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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