Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
