I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
