; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
