Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
