Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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