so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
