i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everything about him screamed your future.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
