8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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