the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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