U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
