i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As shirtless as possible
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
