Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
