hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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