i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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