he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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