Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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