all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
