I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
