Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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