Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
