Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can i not drive my cunt home
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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