So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
