Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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