So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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