Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
