did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
