Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
