I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
