Just cropdusted the office
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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