i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize