Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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