Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
