I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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