dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize