No more Irish car bombs ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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