do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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