You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
