No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh god it's open bar.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
